Week 78: "I think it would be better if you said 'amen and a woman.'"

December 8, 2014

Transfer twelve has come and gone, but -unlike all of the sister missionaries who came out when I did- I won't be going home just yet. You know what that means -- get ready for another six weeks of Elder Bonney's emails. You know you like it.

So, transfer calls were last night, and Elder Pouwer and I were at the home of a family in the branch -- the de Bruijns -- for most of the evening. Since we had come in together two transfers ago, we were already pretty sure that one of us was leaving -- which is pretty sad, because both of us really wanted to stay in Alkmaar. But, I told Elder Pouwer that I, in the most loving way possible, hoped he got transferred...only one can survive. Kind of like the Hunger Games. On Sunday night, though, I was pretty nervous. And then, the call came...

Oh, wait. There was no call. Because, for some reason unknown to us, they decided to keep us together for a third transfer, which rarely happens. All I can say is, by the end of these coming six weeks (which will be four months total together), we'll either be the best of friends...or one of us will be dead, killed by the other. Let's hope for the former.

All that aside, I'm super stoked to be staying in Alkmaar. And, to clear up any confusion, my address will still be:

Willem de Zwijgerlaan 78

1814 KE Alkmaar

the Netherlands

Remember how I said it was cold last Monday? Well... I spoke too soon. That was just the beginning of one of the top three coldest weeks of my mission. The temperature hovered above and below 0°C until Saturday, when it went up a few degrees. Dressing warm is a challenge, but I did okay. I'll probably attach some picture of myself in my winter get-up...

I got to return to Haarlem on exchanges this Tuesday, to work with Elder Bishop. It was a fun day -- we were busy the whole day, which was nice. One of the highlights of the day was helping this older Dutch member buy her groceries. It was something the sisters in Haarlem had started doing, and now the elders (who have been there for about six weeks now) continue doing it once a week. We showed up at the old folks' home, helped her board her wheelchair, and we were off. During the excursion, I realized -- no one can really get mad at you or give you a dirty look when you're pushing a very old woman around in a wheelchair. Take up all the room in the aisle? No one can get angry. Accidentally knock something off of the shelf? No one can get angry. Have to ask a worker a dumb question about where something is? He can't get angry. I'm pretty sure we could have gotten away with murder. In conclusion: if I ever want to commit a crime in broad daylight, I just need to bring a wheelchaired, elderly amiga along.

On Wednesday, I was working in Hoorn with Elder Hunter, the Scottish guy. It was pretty fun -- I got to see this woman from New Zealand that Elder Pouwer and I worked with before the elders opened Hoorn and took her over! It was cool. She actually goes to church in Lelystad, so I hadn't seen her for a whole transfer. She is so much happier than she was when the missionaries first started meeting with her. It was amazing to see. There's only one downside -- we always meet with her outside, because of her living situation, and, if you remember, it was freezing cold. (She says that her Maori blood is too strong to be affected by the cold...) So, we talked to her on a bench in a park for an hour. In what we later found out was, with wind chill, the equivalent of -10°C. I'll never forget that lesson.

Carlos is doing so well. If all goes well, he will get baptized this transfer. He's started bringing his son to the lessons, too -- his son is around 10 years old, and he's awesome. Carlos is a fantastic missionary -- I don't think he's ever come to church without bringing a friend. Yesterday, he came to church with a friend who was a refugee from the Middle East. I'm not sure how they met -- Carlos does talk to everyone he meets about whatever he wants, so I wasn't too surprised. We had a lesson with him on Friday, and a friend of his was there. It got kind of off topic, and I ended up talking to the friend of Carlos while Elder Pouwer talked to Carlos himself. Carlos' friend was cool, but had some interesting ideas... He claimed that saying "amen" at the end of a prayer was a little discriminatory, and that he'd rather end his prayer with "hallelujah." Or, "amen and a woman." I guess "amen" sounds a little too much like "a man" for his taste. Haha. He was a great guy with some interesting insights, though.

The branch fell in love with the four of us missionaries yesterday (if they hadn't already). Elder Hunter is a musical genius, and we were responsible for a musical number. Elder Hunter came up with this arrangement on the piano, and -since Alkmaar isn't too big of a branch- we came up with a version of the song "Silent Night," with lyrics in the languages of all native-tongues represented in the branch. Elder Hunter, Elder Pouwer, and Elder Cooper had all sung a lot in the past and performed, and I...well, I've sung a lot of Taylor Swift in the shower... Anyways, we sounded pretty dang good, singing silent night in a mix of Dutch, English, Portuguese, Spanish, Ukrainian, and Cantonese. I don't think our Ukrainian and Cantonese were very understandable. But, it's the thought that counts, right? The members loved it.

Also, on Saturday, I got to wrestle Elder Pouwer while we both wore fat-suits. But...de tijd is voorbij. Maybe next time. ;)

-Elder Bonney

Me and our previous, proud Maori investigator, now taught by the Hoorn elders!

Chilling with a half-Brazilian part-member family, the Munsters. Gotta love them.

Week 77: "You did something, it is not so good? Smiling."

                                                                                                                                                                    December 1, 2014

IT'S SO COLD OUTSIDE.

This week, the temperature took a dive. It went from being reasonably bearable to being freezing. I do not like it. It's definitely scarf weather now (and I'm trying to convince other missionaries that it's earmuff weather...it's a work in progress). The cold here isn't the normal cold, either -- it's a humid, biting cold. It goes right through your clothes sometimes. (Well, almost. I imagine that it's never quite as bad as walking around Alkmaar naked in this weather would be.) I went running this morning in what I'm pretty sure was... 0°C weather. My lungs will never be the same. Though, it is said that sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven...

I was hardly in my area this past week -- there was so much to do, so many things that were going on. Elder Moreira, from the Quorum of the 70, visited our mission for the week, and there were a few activities revolving around that. Let me tell you -- Elder Moreira is absolutely amazing. He's got a phenomenal testimony, and he's absolutely hilarious. He's from Portugal -- his Portuguese accent (and not super fluent English) is awesome.

On Wednesday, Elder Moreira spoke at a zone conference for about half of the mission (he did the other half at a zone conference the next day). Elder Pouwer and I drove down to Rotterdam that morning -- it was the first time I've actually been in the city of Rotterdam in my whole mission. Rotterdam is pretty...ghetto. And driving there is crazy (Elder Pouwer has accidentally almost killed me more than once, but we aren't going to talk about that). Anyways, the conference itself was fantastic. I kid you not, Elder Moreira laughed almost through the entire thing. I was surprised that he didn't pass out from laughing so much. He is honestly one of the happiest guys I've ever met. He talked about a few things, including obedience and being -- you guessed it -- happy while on a mission. It was really good for me; it inspired me to work harder for these last six months. In his English (which was definitely understandable, but still funny), he also dropped some great quotes. One of my favorites was when he was talking about being cheerful, even with making mistakes: "you did something, it is not so good? Smiling." There it is, boys and girls. Smile in the face of mistakes. "Never we need to fight." "Always keep with the smiling." The list goes on.

Thursday comes -- in the morning, Elder Pouwer and I had to go down to Bussum to help clean out the old apartment that the mission is getting rid of. We got to destroy things and through them in a dumpster. It was every boy's dream (including Elder Robison, the office senior couple elder. I've never seen him smile so big as I did when I saw him smashing old furniture). Later that day, after a quick dinner (some noodles, I think), Elder Pouwer and I set off for Den Haag for a fireside given by Elder Moreira. (It was at this point that we realized that our Thanksgiving dinner had just been noodles. A Thanksgiving meal to remember...) We'd invited an awesome family from our branch to come, and they showed up to the fireside, which was great. We sat next to them, and I waited for the hysterical Elder Moreira to crack me up again. But this time, it was different -- he spent most of the fireside testifying powerfully and inviting the Spirit. It was indescribable. He was still the funny Elder Moreira, but he knew what the people at the fireside (which was meant for primarily investigators and less actives) needed. We had someone there who we were really hoping would feel the Spirit, and she did -- the words that Elder Moreira spoke pierced her soul. The difference in Elder Moreira between that day and the day before was subtle, yet powerful.

The next day, Friday, Elder Pouwer and I drove down to Leidschendam for Mission Leader Council. Elder Moreira was the special guest at MLC, and he didn't disappoint. It was more of a mix between how he was Wednesday and Thursday. He got down to business and gave us some really good advice for leading the mission. Let some more funny quotes loose and shared some great stories -- some hilarious, some very spiritual. It was a great experience having him there.

Also, in the middle of the meeting, I may have yelled the word "uterus" at him. Before you judge, I can explain. He was talking about how important women are and was making some comparison between women and the Atonement of Jesus Christ. He reached one word, and turned to the Portuguese speaking missionary who was there to translate for his wife, saying the word in Portuguese. This missionary, Elder Conatti (who speaks practically perfect English), just shrugs. Then, Elder Moreira tries to explain what it is, pointing and making gestures, asking us what the word is in English. I'm the first to answer: "uterus!!" I answered wrong. A sister who was there got it, though: amniotic fluid. How was I supposed to know that? Well, not everyone can say they've yelled the word "uterus" at a seventy.

So on Tuesday, I was on splits in Amsterdam, working with my old friend, Elder Besendorfer. It's been over a year since we were companions! We taught a lesson to a hip African man inside the hair salon he worked in, but that's a story for another time. Anyways, we contact this woman on the street, and we start talking to her about the Book of Mormon. She says, "Mormon..that sounds so familiar!" Yeah? So we talk a little more, and she starts talking about missionaries she met in the Antilles -- "they're from your church, right?" Well, they were both American and rotated frequently -- getting transferred. Yep, those are our boys. "Wait...you guys baptize while wearing all white, right?" Yes, that's correct. What was she getting at? "I did that in Curaçao!"

Uh, what? You are a baptized member of our church, and the name "Mormon" just sounds familiar? I didn't even know what to say...haha. They have an appointment with her, though, so we'll see what happens.

I would say more. But moderation in all things, right? Including this weekly email. I'm too cold to think straight.

And remember -- always keep the smiling.

--Elder Bonney

Week 76: "This canned bread was sealed before my parents were!" **ADDRESS CHANGE**

November 24, 2014

So...it's about that time of the week again. And my brain is a little fried, so don't expect too much. (Hopefully, by lowering your expectations, you'll be pleasantly surprised with however this ends up...)

Also, my body is fried right now. Let me tell you a little about physical exercise on a mission. As missionaries, we get thirty minutes every morning, somewhere between 6:30 and 7:30, to exercise. It's required. I used to exercise a lot more at home, so half an hour shouldn't be hard to productively fill, right? Wrong. Anyone who has done workouts at home knows that working out at home without equipment is way different than working out at a gym. I'm so tired of doing pushups. But, that's beside the point. This half hour can be used to keep one in decent shape. To be completely honest, despite the fact that it's a rule, I haven't used those thirty minutes every single day on my mission... And sometimes, I suffer blatant consequences for it. Which brings me to my next point. 

On Saturday, our zone (about twenty-six missionaries) went to Vondel Park, in Amsterdam, to have a Thanksgiving Turkey Bowl. We played about three hours of good old, traditional American football. My athleticism hasn't diminished too much on my mission -- I played some pretty good football. Actually, probably the best football I've played since...ever. It was great. We all had a good time. Sunday morning, though, I woke up, fell out of bed, and my legs were screaming. My legs haven't been so sore in a long time. The soreness carried over to today -- it's getting better now, but I've learned an important lesson about exercising as a missionary. Do it. Or, don't Turkey Bowl.

Do you remember how we told you all about Hank, the old, Dutch friend of Carlos? Well, we visited him this past week and taught him a first lesson. It was actually pretty funny -- we showed up at his door (we'd set an appointment with him, and he'd given us his address), and he comes out, and begins to say, in his Friesian Dutch, "No, I don't want to go to your church anymore! Carlos brings me, but I don't have a choice! I'm too old for church -- I'm 84. I'm too unhealthy and too shy!" It was a pretty funny scene. We calmed him down (he realized that we weren't there to force him to join or come to our church), and he let us in. Then, we were able to teach him. He's a funny old guy. Then, he came to our fireside on Friday. And loved it.

Oh yeah, the fireside on Friday! The Hoorn elders, Elder Cooper and Elder Hunter, put most of it together, and then on Friday evening, all four of us directed the fireside. It was a compilation of scriptures, quotes, and Mormon messages, all about serving others. It was...amazing. The Spirit was so strong. It was super powerful. Everyone was feeling it -- smiles and tears all around. There were over ten non-members there, including Carlos and his son. And Hank. AND another friend of Carlos (who used to be investigating the church). They all loved it. Side note: can I just say that Carlos is a powerhouse? He's an amazing guy. But back to the fireside -- one of the quotes that was shared was about how, when we die, God isn't going to ask us how many callings we had, but about how many people we helped. It made me ask myself how I could do better to be more focused on others. I loved the entire evening.

Earlier on Friday, before the fireside, I had one of my "how did I end up doing this?" moments. Elder Hunter, Elder Pouwer, and I were standing on the balcony, holding onto ropes which were attached to a big couch. The couch was rested on the edge of the balcony. As we pushed the couch over the edge, it swung back, slamming against the side of the building (fortunately, it was just that hearing-aid place we live above...I hope they didn't hear it), while we tried to maintain control with the ropes. Elder Pouwer and I were moving out of our apartment in Heiloo, and we had to get the couches out somehow. After discovering that they wouldn't fit down the staircase, there was only one solution -- go buy ropes and lower the couches over the balcony. It ended up working. Kind of. After a long day, we got most of our stuff to our new, healthy apartment. And so my new address is:

Willem de Zwijgerlaan 78

1814 KE Alkmaar

the Netherlands

Don't send any more mail to the Heiloo address! And if you do...tell me. I'll try to get it. We'll see.

While we were cleaning out the apartment in Heiloo, we found a can of German pumpernickel (I think) bread. While trying to figure out what it was, Elder Hunter and I realized that the can was sealed in the year 1990. I WASN'T EVEN BORN THEN. My PARENTS weren't even sealed then. You bet that I busted out a can-opener and opened that almost 25-year old can, expecting some crazy mold creature to emerge...but, it only smelled like alcohol -- something in the bread had fermented in the can. It was anticlimactic. But hey -- not everyone can say they opened a can sealed in Germany in 1990.

As far as our investigators go, Victor is doing really well. There was a super complicated and weird situation in which he almost went to Aruba to visit a dying relative, but it didn't work out last minute...sadly. But, it's better for his baptism, since he has his heart set on getting baptized on his birthday, the 6th of December, and if he went to Aruba, he would have gotten back only one or two days before then. I believe that it's inspired that he stays here -- there are a lot of personal things he needs to figure out, in addition to his baptism. It's interesting to see the way our Heavenly Father helps us out. Not always the way we expect. Anyway, Victor's testimony is rock-solid as ever. Talking to him sometimes makes me feel unconverted. That's a good thing, right? Haha. 

Yeah... I don't have anything else. Talk to you in December!

-Elder Bonney

Elder Alston and I were on exchanges in Alkmaar, and we had to stop in the Heiloo forest...it was just too irresistant for a photo-shoot.

Haarlem district. It's Turkey bowl time.

Week 75: "...am I smelling blueberry muffins?"

November 17, 2014

Friday. It was a nice day -- pretty cloudy, but not raining. I was on exchanges with Elder Andrew, a younger missionary, in the area of Zaandam. We were biking through a beautiful, very Dutch-looking suburb of Zaandam, with a nice river on one side and a highway and traintracks on the other. The nice breeze in my face, the sound of trains, with a thick smell in the air of...blueberry muffins?

"...am I smelling blueberry muffins?"

"Welcome to the many smells of Zaandam, Elder Bonney."

And the smells did come. Zaandam is a pretty industrial city, and by that, I mean that a lot of interesting foods are processed right outside of Zaandam. As we rode on, for a period of about twenty minutes, I was hit with waves of different smells...first, blueberry muffins (that was probably my favorite smell)...next, ground wheat...the next one was hard to pinpoint, but I came to the conclusion that it was a strong stench of dog food, though I was never quite sure. We stopped in a neighborhood that smelled very clearly like dark chocolate. That was a rough one -- after knocking doors for a while with that smell everywhere, it made me want the blueberry muffin smell back. I did, though, experience the many smells of Zaandam, no joke.

Today marks two months since I was transferred here to Alkmaar! I can't believe how quickly it's gone by. Time escapes me. This past week was no exception. Between exchanges, visiting other cities, and getting things done here in Alkmaar, it feels like it was just yesterday that I emailed...this was a fun and relatively eventful week, though.

On Tuesday, we met with Carlos again! He is pretty awesome. Such a homie... He was actually here in the library just a few minutes ago, becoming friends with the Moroccan man sitting next to him. Carlos is seriously one of the most friendly people I've ever met. On Sunday, he showed up at church, and he just got along with everyone. When I saw him walk up to the doors of the church, I busted out in a grin and greeted him. He responded, "good morning, Elder Bonney! I brought my good friend, Hank," and introduces us to this 70+ year old Dutch man. Seeing Carlos, a super-talkative Guatemalan in his mid-forties, with this old, quiet Dutch man was pretty funny. Carlos is friends with everyone. And hey -- he's bringing his friends to church. And Hank loved the service. I can't complain.

Victor is also doing extremely well. I don't know if I've ever seen someone endure hardship so well -- he was talking to us about his past and the things he's been through, and some of them were pretty crazy. He's had a hard life. When you teach him, though, you can just feel how much God loves that man. On Tuesday evening, we ate dinner at a member's house with Victor -- the members are loving him. It's been really amazing to see the members open up to the investigators we've been bringing to church. I can't say that they aren't helping us out. After church on Sunday, Victor told us about how being at church always feels like home -- like where he belongs, and that he just feels really good. He told us that he never wants to miss a Sunday. We're working on some things with him, but Victor is making huge progress.

Okay, stamppot. I need to talk about stamppot. When people ask me what Dutch food is like, I usually tell them that the Dutch just pick and grab things from other cultures -- which is largely true. Lots of "Dutch" food is more Indonesian than Dutch. However, there is one extremely Dutch meal -- stamppot and sausage. Stamppot isn't a super complicated concept; basically, it's mashed potatoes with vegetables (cabbage, spinach, carrots, etc.) and maybe some other stuff mixed in. It's a pretty good meal, and it's very Dutch -- however, it doesn't get fed to us very often. At least, until recently. On Sunday night, at some members' home a week ago, we had stamppot and sausage. Then, on Tuesday evening, with Victor and the member family, we had stamppot and sausage. On Wednesday, I was on exchanges in Haarlem, and the member who fed us dinner gave us...stamppot and sausage. And THEN (yep, there's more), on Thursday night, guess what Elder Pouwer and I had for dinner at a member's home? Stamppot and sausage. Four times within five days. Some call it Dutch eating. I call it death by stamppot.

For any of you who have seen the movie "the Best Two Years," you might know that most of the movie was filmed in the city of Haarlem, in North Holland. However, I have told a number of people that that movie is a lie, because there have been sister missionaries in Haarlem for forever, and no elders. At least, until a few weeks ago. There weren't enough sister missionaries in the mission, so the Haarlem sisters were replaced by Haarlem elders! (There are still sister missionaries that attend the Haarlem ward, but they serve in the beach city of IJmuiden. They've been there for about a year now.) And the third elder to get to serve in the city of Haarlem was...me. (It was just for a day, but it still counts.) So if you've ever seen the movie, just know -- I've worked there. I even saw specific places in the Haarlem Station from the movie. It was pretty awesome. I was working with Elder Silva, a greenie who just got out a few weeks ago. (Not to be confused with Elder da Silva in Den Helder.) Elder Silva is Brazilian, but he's from Portugal. We had a blast.

Before I forget -- on Friday night, Elder Andrew and I were coming back from a ward activity, a sports evening, in the Amsterdam church building. It ended a little late, and we ended up being on the tram to Amsterdam Centraal at 9:30 on a Friday night. That was...interesting. Interesting people board the tram at such a time. Including, but not limited to, a group of pretty buff Irish guys who are a little drunk and all acting like pirates. True story. I don't get intimidated (that's not the right word for a manly guy like me), but I was...on edge. Fortunately, they only punched each other.

To close off, I'll share a quick story from Saturday. On Saturday afternoon, Elder Pouwer and I were coming back from a meeting at the Amsterdam church building, and the Amsterdam sisters were on the same tram as us. We all sat down, and we noticed a man sitting on a tram seat, with his pet rabbit sitting on the seat next to him. (You see the weirdest things on Amsterdam's trams.) The sisters start talking to him, and he asks if they would like to hold his rabbit. He picks it up and hands it to Sister Frandsen. She excitedly takes it and holds it in her lap. And then, the rabbit proceeds to immediately poop on her skirt.

Be careful on the trams in Amsterdam.

--Elder Bonney

After district leader council on Saturday, we couldn't resist going back to the Burger Bar. This time, though, Ben wasn't there.

Week 74: "God slapped me. Softly."

November 10, 2014

Last week, I wrote about how we had been blessed with the nicest November weather ever. Well, I spoke too soon. The temperature dropped about 10 degrees (Celsius) the very next day -- just in time for three back-to-back exchanges. But, I made it through alive. It could have been worse. I should consider myself lucky -- for the whole time I was away on exchanges this week and outside of the house, it didn't rain...

Before I go on, I gotta explain something really quickly. Some people who don't know much about the Netherlands might think that we spend all of our time here working with and talking to Dutch people. That is not true. There are a TON of people from different places here, and there are also missionaries called to meet those needs. In my mission, most missionaries are called to speak Dutch, but some are also called to speak Spanish, Portuguese, and Chinese. (These missionaries all have to speak Dutch too, though.) Surprised? Did my mission just get cooler in your eyes? I hope so.

So on Tuesday, after district meeting, we went on exchanges with the Amsterdam elders. I got to work with Elder Tjong-Ayong again, in Amsterdam. He's called to the mission speaking Chinese. And so, for a little over an hour, I got to sit in a lesson with a recent convert from China who speaks no Dutch and no English, only Chinese. The only English he knew was "nice to meet you" and "bye-bye," in his very Chinese accent. (To be fair, the only Chinese I know is "ni-hao" and a phrase I learned on TV -- supposedly meaning, "duty before self; I will not disappoint you, rainbow chicken" -- but it turns out, that isn't real Chinese anyway -- the guy didn't understand my attempts of unproductive communication.) So, for most of the appointment, I sat there, trying not to fall asleep. And when we watched the Restoration video in Chinese, it was really hard to stay awake. But, I made it through.

The next day, Wednesday, we were on exchanges with the Den Helder elders. I worked in Den Helder with Elder da Silva, a Brazilian who was called to the mission to speak... Portuguese. But, I didn't have to sit uselessly in any Portuguese appointments. We did, however, contact a few Portuguese-speakers. How (and why?) do any Portuguese-speakers make it to Den Helder? Beats me.

By Thursday, I was starting to think that I was a hobo-missionary, without my own city... I worked in the city of Leiden with Elder Argueta. And he was called to the mission to speak...Spanish. Yeah, it was a pretty international week. Elder Argueta and I had a pretty fun day together -- we gave a restoration lesson to this one guy, and he was really great. And crazy. I forgot his complicated Algerian name, so Í'll just call him Mel (because he reminds me of an Algerian, crazy, Dutch-speaking Mel Gibson). According to Mel, he knows very many things, but is not a prophet (actually, what he said is, "I won't say that I'm a prophet."). He gambles a lot, because, in his words, "gambling is investing, and that's better than just throwing my money away on beer or something." Well...yes and no. Somewhere in the middle of the lesson, Mel starts telling us about how he came to believe in God. Apparently, one day, he was walking down the street. Mel sees a coffee shop (uh oh). He says to himself, "hey, I'm feeling a little sad and bored. Maybe I should go smoke a joint." (Great thought process, I know.) He walks into the coffee shop...and smokes a marijuana joint. Mel tells us that he's contemplating smoking another one, when...God struck him. "I was standing there, and then...God slapped me. Softly. Not hard." He shows us on his own face. Needless to say, teaching Mel was something to be remembered.

Later that day, in the evening, we went to go contacting in the centrum, and stumbled upon some charity concert for child rights. We found the Dutch Justin Bieber. Also, in the middle of the fifteen minutes of singing, a flying man came out of the river that runs through the city. No, seriously -- he had like a water jet-pack...kind of. The water like came out of his feet. He looked like Iron Man. It was awesome.

Do you guys remember Carlos? Well...he's back! He got back from vacation, and we'll be meeting with him on Tuesday. I'm super stoked. I've missed that Guatemalan amigo.

Here's something cool -- on Saturday, Elder Pouwer and I went to go on splits with the elders in Hoorn. They're re-opening the city after it had been closed for a few transfers, and they'd been struggling to find people, so we thought that we'd go help them out. Hoorn is a beautiful city -- right on the IJsselmeer. I got to work with Elder Hunter (the singing Scot!). Before we left to go finding, we decided to say a prayer and set a goal with God for how many people we wanted to find who would let us visit them. Afterwards, we were both feeling the same number -- four. Four is a pretty ambitious goal for the three hours we had to find people, but it felt right. We went out and talked to a ton of people, worked really hard. Three hours later, when we came back for dinner, we had found four people. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Yesterday, we taught this cool Romanian homegirl, Miley. I got to practice my three and a half year old Romanian. Unfortunately, the only Romanian I really remembered from my few weeks there in the summer of 2011 were some of the phrases the Romanian kids had taught me, meaning, "I look like a monkey." "You look like a parrot." "Where is the bathroom?" So, I at the appointment, I told Miley that I spoke a little Romanian, then rehearsed those sentences by memory in that order. She got a kick out of that.

Well...I'm done.

-Elder Bonney

Here's me, Elder Argueta, and our new homie, the Algerian Mel Gibson. Why does he remind me of Mel Gibson? I haven't figured that one out yet.

Week 73: "...moet zingen na President Monson. Wie...DOES that?!"

November 3rd, 2014

When I was back home, before I got my mission call, I wasn't too picky about where I wanted to go. I did have one main preference, though: I didn't want to go anywhere that gets too cold in the winter. Then, I was called to serve in the Belgium/Netherlands mission, on the edge of the North Sea. Not the coldest mission in the world, but if you think that it stays warm during the winter, you've got another thing coming. Anyway, I imagine Heavenly Father kind of saying, "Look, I know you didn't want to go somewhere cold, but this is the mission you need. But, I've still got your back, little man. I'm going to make this summer last a long time."

And it is. Last week was a great week as far as weather goes -- on Saturday, the first of November, the Netherlands had (according to a member here) the warmest recorded November day ever. It peaked somewhere around 65°F. We've had sunny and warm days. However, that's coming to an end...it's cold and rainy outside right now. Well, it has to get cold sometime.

This past week wasn't too exciting, I'll be honest. We didn't go on any exchanges last week -- we never go on exchanges during the week of transfers. Also, on Wednesday of this past week, my twelfth transfer began... At the end of this transfer (six-week period), the sisters who were in the MTC with my group last summer will be going home -- their eighteen months will be up. That's pretty nuts. I feel like they're kind of getting cheated -- they have to leave, but we get to stay for six more months. I'm glad that I still have some time, because I'm not ready to go just yet...

In other news, Elder Pouwer and I are going to be moving! Right now, we live in an apartment in Heiloo, a suburb just south of Alkmaar itself. A member, Br. van der Put, from Haarlem (who is in charge of the apartments in the mission) came to check the state of our apartment. It's a pretty old apartment, and it isn't in good condition, but Elder Pouwer and I did our best to make it clean and make it look presentable for this inspection. After the inspection, Br. van der Put says, "well, you guys did your best...but this apartment isn't fit for living in, and you guys need to leave it as soon as possible. It's not just bad here. It's unhealthy!" He was pretty funny about it all, but I was pretty distraught that I'll have to pack up all my stuff and move... We should be getting an apartment in Alkmaar in the near future. We'll see what happens.

We are still working with Victor. He's making great progress and is really excited for his baptism. I've never been so sure that someone will make their baptismal date before. He's still got about five weeks until his baptism, so we've got more than enough time to get everything organized and let everyone know. This should be a relatively stress-free baptism. But, we'll see -- sometimes, the last thing you expect happens. Either way, we're moving forward. Victor is fun to teach. He already believes it all (I mean, he's read the Book of Mormon multiple times and loves it), so most of our teaching is us sharing small doctrinal points, then him going off for a while or bearing his testimony about that principle or something (boy, can he talk). He's also got some pretty cool/funny/awe-inspiring stories from his time living in Aruba and Venezuela. He's really just a great guy who hates Miami. Why does he hate Miami? Yeah, I never understood that one, either.

On Wednesday, Elder Pouwer and I had to go to Leiden Centraal to help out with transfers. It wasn't very exciting. At all. But, I did get to see Christiaan, a young member from Lelystad that I worked a lot with. He came down to hang out with the missionaries. We talked about Lelystad and how different people were doing -- it made me miss that little city. I mean, I spent almost six months of my life in that city... I can't believe that it's already been almost five months since I left it.

I can't forget to tell you guys -- there are elders in Hoorn now, a city close to Alkmaar, and they go to the Alkmaar branch! It's super cool that they're there. You guys probably don't understand just how cool this is for us Alkmaar missionaries... And, get this. So, the missionaries in Hoorn are Elder Cooper and Elder Hunter. Elder Cooper served in Alkmaar up until about six months ago, and the members love him. And Elder Hunter is his greenie. Elder Hunter is a pretty cool cat -- he's from Scotland (like seriously, who is from Scotland? I don't know if I've ever even met someone from Scotland before). And, when the MTC choir sang during the priesthood session of General Conference, ELDER HUNTER WAS THE ONE SINGING THE SOLO. How cool is that? He's super funny about it all -- he said to some members, in his Scottish accent with greenie Dutch, "Ik moet zingen na President Monson. Wie...Does that?!" ("I had to sing after President Monson. Who DOES that?") Apparently he was pretty nervous. But, his voice is winning the hearts of the members here. Elder Cooper, Elder Hunter, Elder Pouwer, and I had to sing "Christus is Mijn Heer" (in English, the hymn is "I Believe in Christ") in church yesterday, and the branch loved it. We weren't half bad, especially with our boy Elder Hunter. His voice is killer.

And Friday was Halloween. For those who don't know...Halloween isn't that big in Europe. So, we didn't do much. But, Priscilla (the one who just got baptized) invited Elder Pouwer and I to come to her Halloween-themed birthday party (her birthday is on Halloween). It was...interesting. But that's a story for another day.

Because I'm tired of typing.

Keep it real, homies.

-Elder Bonney

At a district meeting on Tuesday, my boys Elder Besendorfer and Elder Toole surprised everyone by leaving part-way through and coming back in animal suits. You had to be there to understand. Like Elder Toole says, you gotta be worried about the 'bear necessities.'

Week 72: "In Australia, we don't even cook shrimp on a barbecue. That's just not true!"

October 27th, 2014

Well, believe it or not, I've been here in Alkmaar for just about six weeks now. It feels like I just got here... Fortunately, though, I won't be getting the boot yet. Elder Pouwer and I will be staying together here in Alkmaar for at least six more weeks.

 

Before I say anymore... I NEED TO CORRECT MY ADDRESS. Because the address the mission gave me for our apartment, the address everyone thinks is right, is wrong. You would think that my address is Kennemerstraatweg 91, in Heiloo. I discovered the other day, though, that number 91 is...the hearing aid center that we live above (on the upside, that means we know we don't have to worry about our downstairs neighbors complaining about us being too loud). So, all the mail that comes to us missionaries actually lands in their mailbox, then those kind ladies move it into our mailbox (which, turns out, the mailman has rarely touched). Our address is actually number 91a. I don't think I've missed any mail, but if you've sent something, and if you don't know if I've received it or not...you should probably ask.

 

In conclusion -- my address is:

 

Kennemerstraatweg 91a

1851 BB Heiloo

the Netherlands

 

Good to have that cleared up. And to know that our neighbors haven't been stealing our mail.

 

Let me start off by telling you guys about Victor. I talked a little about him in the last email, about how we thought he was less-active, but he turned out to not even be baptized. So, a long time ago, Victor was on a search for truth. He was raised in a Christian faith but had come to the conclusion that something was missing. He investigated a lot of churches to find the one that was true -- to no avail. One day, though, he met the elders. And his life changed. (This sounds so dramatic...as it should.) Everything started making sense to him. He read the Book of Mormon and prayed about it, and he received a spiritual witness of its truth. He knew that the Church was true. As he was preparing himself to be baptized, though, he somehow lost contact with the elders and with the church. Fast forward a few years, and he's moved to the Netherlands for help with his health. He'd been living in Alkmaar for about three months, and he had been praying that he'd be able to find the church again.

 

A few weeks ago, Elder Pouwer and Elder Price (on exchanges) knocked on his door. He came to church again this past Sunday, for the second time here in Alkmaar. He's already chosen the day he wants to be baptized on -- December 6, his birthday. This whole experience (and it's not over yet) has just been a testimony to me about how aware our Heavenly Father is of our individual circumstances. He answered Victor's prayer. It was no coincidence that we knocked on his door.

 

This past Tuesday, I was on exchanges in Zaandam with Elder Toole. We had a fun, very wet day. We got to help lay down tiles at home of the bishop of the Amsterdam ward. (I can't even count how many times I've laid tile on my mission...I'm starting to get really good at it.) It rained almost the whole time... I was very cold. Bishop de Jonge kept saying, every time I handed him a tile, in great English, "thank you plenty." I don't know if we really say that in America, but he bought us Chinese food after the service, so I'm not going to judge. After that experience, though, I decided that I really didn't want to lay anymore tile in the cold weather.

 

On Friday, it rained the whole day again, and I was on exchanges with Elder Price in Den Helder. We went to go do service for this one Colombian sister in the branch. And...we laid tile. I don't know what it is with people in this country and tile. Once again, it was a very cold and wet experience. She made us lasagna for lunch, though, so I guess I was okay with it.

 

So on Sunday, we had to go pick a member up from the train station in Alkmaar and bring them to church. We were parked out in front, waiting, when we hear whistling. My first thought? It's a cop, and we aren't supposed to park here. Then, we see that it's some guy sitting in front of the Burger King at the station. My second thought? Great, he's gay. (That one was never confirmed either way.) Elder Pouwer suggests that we go talk to him, but then we both notice the almost empty (but previously very full) wine bottle that he's holding. Ahh, now we understand why he's trying to call us over. He's drunk! We decide to ignore him. Then we look over, and he's walking towards our car... I look at Elder Pouwer. "Lock the car. Lock the car. LOCK THE CAR." He locks it, and rolls down my window a little bit. We ended up having a very strange conversation with a very drunk younger man. He spoke of many things, including "intergalactic stellars" and about how he's an archangel. How does he know that, you ask? In his words, "they've told me. Oh yes, they've told me. Many times," while pointing at the sky. He ended by leaving us these words of wisdom -- "you have to trust everyone. Then everyone will trust you." Deep. I still don't trust everyone. Especially drunk guys.

 

Today, we went to Amsterdam with the Leiden elders, Elder Reynold for a good chunk of P-day. It was pretty fun -- the museum we'd been planning to go to turned out to be closed on Mondays (just like a ton of other museums in this country...), so we just walked around and saw nice things. Today is a beautiful day, so that was fun. We ate lunch at this one burger joint, and we sat next to this one guy, Ben. He turned out to be Australian, from Sydney, in his mid-20s. We had a fun conversation with him. He told us about how Americans have a lot of weird stereotypes for Australians -- apparently, Australians never say anything about "throwing shrimps on the barbie." He said that they don't even really barbecue shrimp... Very enlightening. Part-way through (we were sitting outside), he lit up a joint (and this one had nothing to do with burgers), and the conversation got even more interesting...he asked us why we, in our church, believe that drugs aren't good, and we told him. He courteously disagreed...then went on to tell us about how he was on some hallucinogens the other day, and how he was, in his hallucination, riding on a meteor through outer-space, a meteor he could almost control. And that is just another reason why drugs are not good. Kids...don't do drugs.

 

Dang, I love people.

 

--Elder Bonney

Elder Pouwer, Elder Bishop, and me, from the week before this past one, at the mission home after mission leader council.

A tram picture from this morning -- Elder Price, Elder Pouwer, Elder Reynolds, and myself, in Amsterdam.

Week 71: "Basically, you destroy your vocal chords until you find the sound you like."

October 20th, 2014

I remember telling myself at the beginning of last week -- if I could make it through the week, I could make it through the rest of my mission. There was a lot of stuff that needed to happen and a lot of things that needed to go well. Only a miracle would get me through the week. Fortunately, God hasn't ceased to be a God of miracles...

 

So, here's a quick overview of what I was facing on Monday. First, Elder Pouwer and I had to prepare a thirty minute presentation to present to, like, seventy missionaries at temple conference on TUESDAY. The next day. Some call that procrastination, but I like to call it...alzheimer's? We also needed to prepare our plans for mission leader council on Friday. And our district leader council on Saturday. (These names probably don't mean anything to you guys, but just think of it as...a lot of meetings.) Did I mention that our baptismal candidate, Priscilla, had to have her baptismal interview, and if she passed, we'd have to prepare her Saturday baptismal service?

 

I WAS FREAKING OUT. And I'm not a very stressful dude! I was pretty sure that I was going to end the week by getting an ulcer and ending up in the hospital. Or having a brain aneurysm and ending up in a coffin. (Disclaimer: I do not actually know if stress causes brain aneurysms. And yes, I had to look up how to spell the word.) Let's take it one day at a time...

 

Somehow, we got our act together and had our presentation ready for Tuesday. It was actually pretty fun -- for part of it, we called missionaries out from the group to give short lessons on non-gospel topics that they were good at, ranging from motocross to music therapy to magic tricks to screamo music. Yes, screamo -- there was an elder who sang (and screamed, apparently) in a punk band before his mission. I'm not a big fan of screamo music (it kind of hurts my head), but I thought it would be cool to hear about the "science of screamo." He started off... "well, basically, you destroy your vocal chords until you find the sound you like." Apparently, you find a screaming sound you like, and then after doing it for a while, it stops hurting. I think I had a look of mild horror on my face during the whole explanation. But hey, I was grateful that he was willing to teach about his talents!

 

We had people teach random topics to help missionaries see what it's like to be in the shoes of an investigator. Our goal was to help them improve the quality of their questions in lessons. We're always teaching about the gospel, a topic we know a lot about, so hearing about things they didn't know a lot about helped them analyze the situation in a better way. It was eye-opening. Anyway, our presentation went pretty well, and we were satisfied with it.

 

I almost forgot -- all of us missionaries got to go to the temple on Tuesday morning, before the conference! It was great. The temple is always a great experience. It was strange -- as an elder, you get to go to the temple four times on your mission (twice a year, in April and October). This was my third time... I only get to go once more before I go home. It's weird to think about.

 

On Wednesday, we were on exchanges with the Leiden elders -- I worked in Leiden with Elder Reynolds, and Elder Pouwer was with Elder Argueta (the district leader) in Alkmaar. Elder Argueta was going to give our investigator, Priscilla, her baptismal interview. Elder Pouwer and I were a little nervous -- we weren't sure how it would go. We'd been teaching her regularly since we got to Alkmaar, and she seemed ready to us, but only the interview would tell. Meanwhile, I'm working with Elder Reynolds in Leiden, not knowing how it's going. (While we were knocking doors, a giant dog came out of a shed and tried to killus, and I thought I might get maimed...but we made it out of the gate and shut it in time to get away.)

 

Long story short -- Priscilla passed her baptismal interview! That meant that Elder Pouwer and I had a baptismal service to finish planning for Saturday. It was hectic, but we did our best to pull it off. Meanwhile, we got everything for our councils ready, and those went well.

 

On Saturday, Priscilla was baptized! The branch president, President 't Hoen, baptized her. It was a great service. Her sister (who referred her to the missionaries a couple months ago) came up from Amsterdam to give a short talk at the service. It was simple, but the Spirit was there. We were all really happy for Priscilla.

 

That night, we were in Amsterdam writing up a report about the zone (another thing we had to get done), and we finished it, then decided to go out to eat -- we hadn't had dinner, and it was already around 8 PM. We thought we'd celebrate Priscilla's baptism. We learned an important lesson, something we hadn't foreseen -- going out to dinner on Saturday night in Amsterdam's centrum is probably not the best idea. We saw (and smelled) some scary and strange things while trying to find a place to park... But, we ate out anyway. And while I was sitting, eating my calzone, relaxing, thinking about how we got everything done that week, the phone buzzes. It was a member of the branch presidency. "Elder Bonney, kan je morgen een toespraak geven van 10 minuten?" ("Elder Bonney, can you give a 10-minute talk tomorrow?")

 

Well, it's not over until the fat lady sings. For church on Sunday, Priscilla made it just in time to get confirmed (her train was late). My ten minute talked was on the spot transformed (out of necessity, I was the last speaker with thirty minutes left until the end) into a twenty minute talk. There. We finally made it.

 

Also, we'd helped someone get to church that morning, named Victor. He'd explained to us (we found him knocking doors) that he was an inactive member from Aruba who had just moved to the Netherlands and wanted to become closer to God. After church, we discovered that... Victor has never actually been baptized. He's not even a member. But, it looks like he's our next baptismal candidate. God is too good. Not only did everything this past week go as it was meant to, but He dropped a new person in our lap.

 

It's a good thing I didn't have a brain aneurysm.

 

--Elder Bonney

 Elder Pouwer and me, looking good at the temple in Zoetermeer.

Elder Pouwer, President 't Hoen, Priscilla, and I at Priscilla's baptism.

Week 70: "Where did you get Greenland from?" "I'm not sure..."

October 13th, 2014

So, there I was. Sitting on a bench, all alone, in the rain, in a city I'd never been to before. Without a phone. It was one of those times that I had to take a step back and ask myself how I got there. I feel like I have a lot of those moments...

I was in Den Helder, at the very top of North Holland. To make a long story short, I was on exchanges with Elder Da Silva, an elder from Brazil, and we were first working in Schagen, a city about 15 minutes (by train) south of Den Helder. As we were walking back to the Schagen train station, we saw the train pull up into the station. Elder Da Silva and I look at each other, and he says, in his thick Brazilian accent, "I think we must run." "Yeah, I think so too." We drop into a sprint to catch the train, which only comes once every 30 minutes. We get to the platform -- the train is still there. Good. Unfortunately, everyone who just got off of the train is swarming around the OV-chipcard scanner thing, trying to check out, and we were trying to check IN. Elder Da Silva pushes his way to the front of the swarm, but there's no way I'd make it. Divide and conquer -- I run to the next one, scan in, and as the whistle blows, I hop on the train, assuming that Elder Da Silva would jump in the train car in front of me. As the train pulls away, I walk to the next car and see Elder Da Silva...through the train window.

You've gotta understand, I'd never been to Den Helder before. Elder Da Silva and his companion (who is actually my MTC companion, Elder Price!) had left their phone at home that morning, so there was no way I could get in contact with him. So, I rode the train all the way to the last stop in Den Helder, the main Den Helder station, got off, sat down on a bench, and waited. (Okay, I got off, checked out, found the closest mailbox, mailed some letters I needed to send, came back to the station, sat down on a bench, and waited.) This is the moment I found myself in. Nevertheless, sure enough, thirty minutes later and after some self-contemplation, I see a very relieved Elder Da Silva get off the train.

And that was only Tuesday. That was only the beginning of the week.

I have to be honest, though -- I'd be lying if I said the rest of the week was so exciting. It was a good week, though. On Wednesday, we met with our homie, Carlos. (Isn't it a good thing he didn't kill me?) He's going away for a few weeks on vacation, but we had a really spiritual appointment with him. Turns out, he wants to be baptized. Who knew? I'm going to miss seeing that guy for a few weeks, but he'll be back in November.

I got to work in Amsterdam again this past week, this time with Elder Besendorfer. It wasn't planned to work in Amsterdam (the plan was to go on real exchanges and for me and Bessie to work in Alkmaar), but Elder Pouwer and I brough our car in to have the brakes checked out, and...our brake pads needed to be changed. So, car-less, we went on splits with the Amsterdam elders. We had a cool day -- found some cool people, had a good talk. We reminisced on the good old days in Groningen -- it was almost exactly a year ago that we became companions.

On Friday, Elder Pouwer and I ate dinner with a member, her adult son, and one of our investigators, Priscilla (who could get baptized this Saturday! I hadn't mentioned that yet...). Priscilla was talking about how one of her roommates doesn't understand how we could think that 30°C is pretty hot. The member asks, "waar komt ze dan vandaan? Groeneland?" (Where is she from? Greenland?) I was sitting there thinking...uh..Greenland is cold, and like nobody even lives there. Priscilla tells her that her friend is from Suriname. The member's son asks, "Where did you get Greenland from?" She couldn't remember... It's the little things that you have to laugh about.

The other day, Elder Pouwer and I went on splits with the elders in Zaandam/North Amsterdam. The heavens opened up and it poured on us. But, we still found four new people who were willing to give us their information and let us come another time. Blessings from diligence... I also almost accidentally stabbed a man with my umbrella, but that's a story for another time. For now, it's time for me to go.

Have a great week! Keep it classy.

--Elder Bonney

Last Monday, Elder Pouwer and I went to Alkmaar's cheese museum. This city is famous for its cheese market. It was a pretty fun museum, and we were like the only ones there, so we got some good pictures, including this one of me and a model of the Dutch cheese girl. Looks like my T-Rex girlfriend just got replaced. I never was one for following the rules...